I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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