Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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