can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
