smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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