I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize