Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
