yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
