WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
