my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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