Why are handjobs necessary in class?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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