Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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