butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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