She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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