ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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