Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
