I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
