i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
