are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize