ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
