You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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