Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
