I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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