No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
