Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize