I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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