I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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