You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
