he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
