Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
