so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
