Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Someone signed my nipple.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
