Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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