smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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