I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
