I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
