Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
