Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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