They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
