It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My vagina just clenched in fear
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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