i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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