I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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