I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
