I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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