try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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