one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
