just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You've changed since you got that strap on
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize