no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
