Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
