I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize