you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
