Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
