Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize