the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
