whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
