Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
