my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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