i think my mom watched the whole time
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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