"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
