You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
