I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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