you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
