when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Randomize
