I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
