this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My feet surprised me
Randomize