She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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