How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
