Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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