i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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