im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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