and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
