Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Randomize