Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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