Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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