Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
