man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
