last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
