life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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