Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
