everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
