I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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