Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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