I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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