Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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