The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
my liver is dry heaving
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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