How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
