This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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